Continental Breakfast Bitterness

Earlier this month, we went to our old college town for the first time since I left 23 years ago. We were there to see some people in our family, but for me, not really.  I was very much looking forward to seeing how the college had survived without me. Clearly they had the funds to improve it, because there were like 50 new buildings, it now had a food court, and a brand new gym with like 10 new full sized basketball courts.

So yeah, I guess it did okay without me. The town that housed the college, however, had not changed AT ALL. It’s the same little podunk, rinky dink, cow town it was before. It’s like they didn’t even acknowledge that this amazing college that was thriving and growing, changing and advancing right in front of their faces. The town could have capitalized on the 30,000 students that were right there, willing give massive amounts of money to a restaurant or a mall or a any number of amazing businesses, that catered to them even one bit, but it seemed like they didn’t really care.

Anyways, we had to stay in a hotel while we were there, but we couldn’t seem to find one for under $170. We finally sucked it up and paid the exorbitant  fee. I figured it had a pool and free continental breakfast, so it wouldn’t be that bad. It was bad. I wouldn’t have paid $30 for this hotel. It was the absolute worst.

I had some leftovers that my wife got me, but didn’t have the time to eat because I was driving. So my son and I decided to go downstairs and ask the front desk for some salt. We waited behind a guy that asked if they had a room that night. He said no. Didn’t help him find another place, or offer any suggestions. Finally the guy just asks if he can use his phone. He pulls out a rotary phone.

We finally get to talk to the “concierge”.

Do you have any salt? Nope.

Are you sure? I see that you have a breakfast area right behind us.

Nope.

Wow, thanks for going out of your way there.

The next morning at 6:30 am, we get up for breakfast. When we get there, dozens of people are already there. I am flabbergasted by the enthusiasm for continental breakfast. I don’t know if it is because it is free, but if you’ve ever been to a continental breakfast, it usually isn’t that great. They usually have some day old eggs, some super sweet orange juice and a toaster for crappiest week grain bread. I’ve had better breakfasts at boy scout camps and they are known for burning water.

Yet, there people are in droves. Devouring every little morsel of bread, every bad flavored yogurt and practically knocking each other over for a half pint of milk and snack sized cereal packet. Breakfast they would never allow in their own homes, but all of a sudden in a hotel, they think of the continental breakfast as the greatest thing since sliced bagels.

Oh look, they are RIGHT THERE!

I will never understand the enthusiasm for continental breakfasts. On the other hand, they do have salt packets here. OH YOU DON’T HAVE SALT PACKETS HERE? THEY ARE RIGHT HERE. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS WALK ACROSS THE LOBBY AND YOU COULD HAVE PICKED ONE UP FOR ME YOU STUPID FRONT DESK ‘CONCIERGE’!

So yeah, totally worth all $170 for the night.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Continental Breakfast Ben