This is the Last Straw

It’s a little hot in the car.

It’s been pretty hot this summer. I think pretty much every day of July was over 100 at some point in the day. When we bought my car back in 2008, we made sure it was bottom of the line. When it comes to vehicles for me, I look to go not at all out. It did have one thing which I insisted on. A plug for my Ipod, which I knew would always be a thing. Boy, did I not anticipate a future in which Spotify and Bluetooth existed.

What my car does not come with is air conditioning. When it is 100 outside it is probably 115 inside the car. Science. When I get home, I usually throw off my backpack, throw my lunch against the way and strip off my work clothes as fast as I can. Then I go about ignoring my family as quickly as possible and straight for the fridge.  Don’t talk to me until the glass is filled with as much ice as possible and the water dripping down my parched throat.

Yes, I’m an animal when it comes to drinking that water after a long 45 minute commute. I don’t apologize. Other times, when I go to fast food restaurants, I like to get a drink with my unhealthy double burger with cheese and bacon. The drink tastes amazing as it slides through the straw like a kid slides down a waterslide at a waterpark. All those unhealthy sugars and carbination combine for a tasty fizzy treat to go with your meal.

He did much better WITH a straw.

Unfortunately, two of my former places of residence have already started to ban this unhealthy, but necessary life experience. Seattle was the first city to ban plastic straws. Some parts of California are doing the same.

Uhhhh….what? First of all why. Second of all, is this going to create underground speakeasy type plastic straw facilities in Seattle where straws will go on the plastic market? The hypocrisy is strong with Seattle. I used to work 100 yards from a legal marajuana shop that actually had a person stand out on the corner of street waving a sign to come get a previously illegal drug. In the meantime, if a company tries to GIVE AWAY for free, a plastic straw for me to sip my soda, they will be banned.

Ummm, who is in charge of this place? Clearly the hippies of the 1960’s. I don’t like to make political statements a whole lot. I just like to be able to be in public and not drink a thing of soda like an animal. And if I go to Seattle, I won’t be able to do that.

What in the frick is wrong with people?

And just in case they use the argument that the plastic is harming our oceans and sea creatures, lets take a look at this:

Do these fish seem like they care about straws under the sea?

How about this sponge?

How about this sponge?

Or this starfish?

How about this starfish?

I rest my case.

ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Last Straw Ben

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