Bitter Director

How I plan on getting published.

Writing anything that gets published has always been a dream of mine. Getting paid to write, even more so. I think the ultimate dream is writing a book that I get paid a lot of money for, then having Hollywood pick up that book, paying me even more money, then completely botching my vision for the book. On the opposite end of that spectrum is directing a film.

No matter how much money they pay you, I can’t see ever directing a film. Last night I found out why. Last night with the scouts, we were working on the movie badge. We prepped for 2 weeks, teaching them that there needs to be some organization beforehand, like coming up with a story, fleshing out characters, doing some storyboarding, and working on lines. All they wanted to do was film right away and then just watch it.

Bunch of freaking divas.

Yep, they all were.

Anyways, I prepared the script and brought all the props they could ever need. The problem was, nothing  was good enough for them. They wanted script changes. They hadn’t memorized their lines. Their guns didn’t have enough bullets, they were always late to set and we had to do multiple takes, because no one understood what quiet on the set means.

The worst part was when I finally set them loose to film the action scenes, (run around with Nerf guns and fake kill each other) they couldn’t even do that right. I expected complete randomness, lots of running and gunning and they all just kind of slowly moved around like they were zombies.

Didn’t they do any research about their characters? Did they just think they were going to sleepwalk act, and just expect to collect their badge? Kids are terrible actors. I felt no emotion, no inflection and no signs that they even cared about their one day acting careers.

I see why directors lose it all the time. I spent one hour with these divas and I could barely handle that. Real directors have to handle grown up kids that throw tantrums and half act like they don’t care even though they are being paid millions of dollars to entertain me.

I will blame the children for this box office disaster.

These kids just expected me to fix everything in post. I can fix of lot of things, but I can’t fix terrible acting.

Anyways, I think after we finish part 2 in a few weeks, and take 6 weeks to edit, then promotion, it isn’t looking like we will release this thing until summer 2019. I’m sure I will get blamed for the terrible box office, but we all know that it was the actors that were impossible to work with. At least that is how the Bitter Entertainment Network is going to spin it.

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Directing Nightmare Ben