What the Hail Bitterness

Why do outdoor sports when you can do indoor sports?

Whoever created the indoors should get a medal. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have survived the caveman times where your only shelter was…well, caves. I’m a huge fan of skipping any camping trips and being outside with nature. When I was younger scout, I remember one April when I had to spend like 4 straight weekends going camping and it was probably the worst week ever. Most worst night ever was when I was a Scout leader and the Scouts decided to do a snow cave. Dumbest thing ever. Especially since I am claustraphobic.

I spent the night freezing, and crammed up against the wall of a frozen ice tomb. I couldn’t get out because someone was pinning me up against the wall and the escape hole was right above him.

Snow is dumb. Why build a snow cave with it?

Needless to say, I would rather be mauled by a bear than have to go camping. I think it might be because weather is so dumb and changes all the time. Yesterday, we were blessed with the rarest and most dangerous of weather phenomenons, hail.

Hail is kind of fun when you are inside watching it come down outside. It is fun when you see people scurrying to get to shelter. It is fun when you are watching people on TV suffer from it.

It is not so fun when you are outdoors experiencing it. We dropped our son off at football practice and then went to Costco. We got like three things and were about to leave when we heard the roof being pelted with what we assumed was rain. We thought maybe they were going to cancel practice, so we hurried up and paid our $142 dollars for our three items.

As soon as the slip checker checked our slip, it was mayhem outside. All our new things and us got pelted by hail. We got the text almost the next minute later that practice was cancelled. We got hammered on the way to practice, but couldn’t get our son yet, because of course, we had to get our chocolate for the fundraiser.

So we sat under the awning with a bunch of really loud kids, waiting for our chocolate. On our way home as we continued to get pelted by the hail, our son asked, “Is this like it was in World War II?” Of course I said, “I don’t know, son. I wasn’t alive then.” But thanks for assuming I lived then.

That wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was the puns. Everytime someone goes through a hail storm it’s the same jokes. “We went through hail out there.” “Oh man, that was hail.” “What the hail was that?” and on and on.