Cerebral Player Bitterness

Not everyone gets a 10.

They say you shouldn’t judge people, but how the heck else are you supposed to assume things about people and start being enemies with them? Let’s be real, I don’t have the time to get to know most people’s deepest desires and greatest dreams? Do people really expect me to ever get to know some random driver that cuts me off on the freeway? It so much easier to not get to know people and just label them.

I love labeling people. It allows me to not find anything in common with them so I can make excuses to not to deal with them. I like to find any little slight I can to make sure I don’t become close with them. Yesterday, I was 10% paying attention to what was on TV (because my phone was clearly worthy of my 90%) and I heard an interview.

Someone was asking the WNBA player why she thought she was so successful. She said that she considered herself a “cerebral player”. I kind of paused when she said that word, because I was like what? Did you just call yourself smart? I guess there are a few occasions where you have to brag yourself up, like during a job interview, or a date, when you need to convince a girl to go out with you, but for the most part, you shouldn’t be telling someone how great you are.

You are so delighted.

I think people like to use words in a way that make them sound good, without pretending to brag. For instance, I like how a lot of actors like to pretend they are thespians because they are in “independent films” or they are “character actors”. I don’t know about you, but Bruce Willis or Jim Carrey are just as good at acting just because they aren’t always “character actors”. They still have to memorize lines, they still have to emote from time to time, and they still have to work hard to make movies.

Then there are the people that say they are “well read”. So you know how to read books more than other people. That is so fantastic of you. I have also read books and just because I don’t spend all my time articulating about the universal themes of Moby Dick, doesn’t mean I didn’t like reading Harry Potter.

I’m so motivated.

Or those people that they are oriters, because the make words come alive to motivate you when they speak. I also can speak and sometimes with my words I can motivate my son to wake up in the morning. It might not use fancy words and inspirational quotes, but he gets up just like he is supposed to and goes and becomes “well read” and becomes a “good acting” person, because if he doesn’t he will be dealing my oriter self.

ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Cerebral Ben

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7 thoughts on “Cerebral Player Bitterness

  1. Hilarious!
    And that part about reading books . . what IS the deal with bragging about it? It’s like saying “I love to sit on my arse for half a day reading something I didn’t write,”. Don’t get me wrong, I dig reading just fine. But one of the perks IS that I get to sit on my arse while doing so!

    Like

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