These are a few of my bitterest things Friday Giftures

 

I’m not Oprah. When she brought out a few of her favorite things, people in the audidence got them. Not here. As you can probably imagine, I have a lot of things that make me bitter. I have spent the last 6 years explaining all of those to you, so there is no excuse for you not to know that I’m bitter. Unless you are new here, to which I say, do you see the title of the blog? I don’t have the patent yet on the word bitter, but I’m pretty sure I should get it based on the fact I’m world’s biggest user of bitter(also Guiness should be calling me for that award as well).

In fact, I probably would have had my name officially changed to Bitter Ben if I wasn’t so lazy. I do have a few favorite things though as you will see in this edition of Bitter Friday Giftures. Hint, most of them are of other people suffering and you won’t be going home with any of them.

Twix, because not good for you…

…these girls are arguing about which side is better. (It’s left, actually.) 

Making fun of posers that think…

…they are good at guitar.

Ron Swanson. Someone just told him…

…that all the departments of government are shutting down.

Retirement. The lazyman’s…

…dream life.

Laughing at people…

…that are such huge fans of singers. 

When someone toots…

…and gets exposed.

There is no better feeling than…

..Helping a joke die when someone who thinks they are funny but not.

Contributing even in a small way…

…to making someone cry.

Utterly…

…confusing people.

Transformers…

…they are more than meets the eye.

People so bored…

…they go into the Twilight Zone.

Exposing the kids language…

…as terrible.

Those are a few of my favorite things. Also, pizza and Fridays, which I will soon be consuming and forgetting all about this horrible week. A bitter Labor Day weekend to all who are in the U.S.

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Favorite Things Ben