Hey is for Horses Friday Giftures

 

When I was a young lad in college, I used to go with my friends to girls apartments and just point out all kinds of puns and then just leave. It was in college that I honed my craft and perfected it. Now, that I am a father, it is automatic. #DadJokes I immediately make a pun anytime I see anything that even closely relates to a pun. The automatic response when someone says, “Hey” to me is, “Hey is for horses.” I don’t even think about it anymore. Just like my automatic response to Fridays is pizza and Bitter Friday Giftures. So here you all go.

When it comes to getting advice

…I don’t go by the books.

How I feel…

…when donut do what they are asked.

Get out of the kitchen…

…if you can’t take the heat.

There are no hugs…

…are you kitten me?

She is feeling…

…waffly good about herself.

Shatner is…

…a big hit at the parties.

When somebody asks me…

…to do math.

My favorite three words stringed together…

not the furry boots.

When people ask me to eat…

…anything but pepperoni pizza.

When people ask me…

…to do math.

When people ask me…

…if I want the last piece of pizza.

When people ask me…

…to go to a meeting.

I know you don’t listen to me ever, but if I were you, I would forth and do nothing. Because that is the most noble cause a driven, ambitious person like yourself could do. Good luck and may the horse be with you.

ARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Horse Puns Ben

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