When I was a young lad in college, I used to go with my friends to girls apartments and just point out all kinds of puns and then just leave. It was in college that I honed my craft and perfected it. Now, that I am a father, it is automatic. #DadJokes I immediately make a pun anytime I see anything that even closely relates to a pun. The automatic response when someone says, “Hey” to me is, “Hey is for horses.” I don’t even think about it anymore. Just like my automatic response to Fridays is pizza and Bitter Friday Giftures. So here you all go.
When it comes to getting advice…
…I don’t go by the books.
How I feel…
…when donut do what they are asked.
Get out of the kitchen…
…if you can’t take the heat.
There are no hugs…
…are you kitten me?
She is feeling…
…waffly good about herself.
Shatner is…
…a big hit at the parties.
When somebody asks me…
…to do math.
My favorite three words stringed together…
…not the furry boots.
When people ask me to eat…
…anything but pepperoni pizza.
When people ask me…
…to do math.
When people ask me…
…if I want the last piece of pizza.
When people ask me…
…to go to a meeting.
I know you don’t listen to me ever, but if I were you, I would forth and do nothing. Because that is the most noble cause a driven, ambitious person like yourself could do. Good luck and may the horse be with you.
ARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH
Bitter Horse Puns Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 2 
You know, a study of partial differential equations can lead to a greater understanding of harmonics and fourier transforms.
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The study of puns can lead to a grater understanding of Punsylvania.
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May the horse be with you…! Ben, you are truly the master of puns. I am in deep awe (and a few stitches) after these Friday Giftures.
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It is a delicate art that gets passed down from one dad to another. I was only the lastest in a long line of dad puns.
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Poor William Shatner. He appears to be the victim of domestic self-abuse.
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Yeah, I guess he didn’t want to Live Long and prosper.
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As always you’ve put a smile on my face! 😊
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Oh great. That was not my objective.
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I know, did I make you bitter?
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Super bitter. I feel much bitter now.
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Just trying to make you miserable.
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You are succeeding.
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Alright!!
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Another response to “hey” that I remember from my childhood days is “straw is cheaper, and grass is free.” J.
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Yeah, I always forgot that part. Thanks for reminding me.
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A pun is a terrible thing to waste… on the other hand, you have different fingers.
😉
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Puns are the best. They are the lowest form of humor I’m told, which is why I use them all the time.
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You have to play to your strengths.
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Unfortunately these are one of my only strengths.
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Okay, say you’re in a bar or at a party, and you hear James Brown’s classic “I Feel Good.”
You gotta time it just right, wait until the end when the band slows down, then yell out, “HEY JAMES! WHAT DO HORSES EAT?”
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