Word Economy

We don't live in a dystopian future yet, despite all these books and movies centered around that type of world happening. It seems like when the worlds fall apart, money seems to go by the wayside. The economy seems to shift to whatever resource happens to be more rare and whoever has the most of …

Hey is for Horses Friday Giftures

  When I was a young lad in college, I used to go with my friends to girls apartments and just point out all kinds of puns and then just leave. It was in college that I honed my craft and perfected it. Now, that I am a father, it is automatic. #DadJokes I immediately …

HOA Bitterness

I find meetings to be pretty much the worst part of living. I can put up with a lot of things, like an onion sliver on my pizza, or someone talking way too much. This is not to say I wouldn't complain about them endlessly, I'm just saying I could put up with them for …

The Sloths of Zootopia

You all remember the Zootopia movie right? Apparently everyone liked it, because it got like 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and made like a billion dollars at the box office. There were a lot of things to like. First, it is a Disney movie, which a lot of people will see regardless of how good or …

These are a few of my bitterest things Friday Giftures

  I'm not Oprah. When she brought out a few of her favorite things, people in the audidence got them. Not here. As you can probably imagine, I have a lot of things that make me bitter. I have spent the last 6 years explaining all of those to you, so there is no excuse …

Made Up Lyrics Bitterness

One of my favorite episodes of the Office besides all of them is when Jim has a barbecue and doesn't invite Micheal Scott. Instead Micheal goes to his improv class. It's kind of ironic because Steve Carrell started in improv, I wonder if he improv-ed being so bad at it. I've always wanted to be …

Wipe off that Loser Dust

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi2h2K6D1V8 I have a lot of weaknesses, but one of my biggest is hair. One of my worst nightmares is finding one in my food. I would much rather get punched on the arm 50 times than get one in my food. Even my head is kind of scared of hair to the point where …

Cerebral Player Bitterness

They say you shouldn't judge people, but how the heck else are you supposed to assume things about people and start being enemies with them? Let's be real, I don't have the time to get to know most people's deepest desires and greatest dreams? Do people really expect me to ever get to know some …

Standing in My Shadow Bitterness

When we were younger, our family went on those annual  Vaction-like vacations. You know, the two week road trips across the western United States. We would stick my parents, my four brothers and sisters into our oversized van and embark on an adventure that would almost certainly cost my parents most of their money and …

TL;DR Bitter Friday Giftures

  We all know you don't come here on Fridays for the spectacular commentary on life's bitterness. You all just want to see some giftures since you are too lazy to go to another site and just find them yourself. I get it, and that I why I am bitter to do the work for …